Saturday, March 15, 2014

Stress + Sewing

Hi guys! It's been a while, no?

I feel like it's been forever since my last post!  I'll admit it.  I've fallen slightly off the radar recently.

I'm back with an explanation, but settle in kids!  It's going to be a long one.  Feel free to wait for pictures of pretty dresses and check in at a later date...

As they say, finding a job is a full-time job.  Right?  Well, kind of.  I'd be lying to you if I told you that the reason behind my conspicuous absence from this little webspace was due to the toils of moving across the country and spending oh-so-much time job hunting.

Maybe I'll sound spoiled, or ungrateful, or bratty, but I'm just going to throw it out there: I really didn't spend all that much time job-hunting.  I did, however, spend a lot of time job-deciding.  Maybe it's a character flaw, or maybe it's just dumb luck, but I truly feel that having a job is far more stressful than finding a job.

Now, let's rewind here.  Because I don't literally mean going to work 9-5 is super stressful.  It can be, but I'm not really a "bring your work home with you" kind of gal.  I mean preparing for a new job.  Or getting multiple offers and not knowing which direction to go.  Having one, but not actually having one.  To me, those things are really stressful.  Like really stressful. 

I wish people would just interview you right away, tell you whether or not they like you, and start you on Monday.  The whole job-searching process of interview 1, interview 2, negotiation, offer, decision is absolutely agonizing.  Multiply that times however many jobs you've applied for, and it's exhausting.

I fully understand that I sound like a total nut job here.   

How many people in this country are unemployed, and this girl is bitching about which job to take?  Seriously, come on.

But, we're all different people, and stress takes hold on our lives in different ways.  We're all friends here, so I'm just trying to me honest and open.  I could lie and tell you that the excitement of moving far far away got to me and made me a horrible blogger.  But, it didn't.

I've spent the last couple of weeks agonizing over a couple of pretty simple decisions: 
Do I want to make money or do something that makes me happy?
Is taking a supervisory role really what I want?
Do I like my car enough to spend a pretty decent amount of time commuting in it every day?

I'm sure some of you out there would be like, duh.  Do what makes you happy.  The end.  Moving on.  

But, I'm not like that.  I don't know why.  It's just not in my make up.  I'm really practical, give terriffic advice, and don't upset easily.  I'm awesome under pressure, super efficient, and procrastinate like hell.  I've never had trouble finding employment, and I sincerely hope I never will.  However, career decisions make me turn to jelly inside.  (Oh, and I can't get dressed to save my life.  But that's another story for another day.)

I spend hours agonizing (whether consciously or not) over whether I've made the right decision, where that decision will put me in a few years, and what effect it will have on the rest of my life.  It's ridiculous, I know.  I'm young, I have so much time to worry about big decisions later, and should just enjoy myself.

Logically, it makes sense.  But, subconsciously I'm freaking out.

Constantly weighing my decisions is like a compulsion: no matter how much I want to stop I just can't help it.

So, I've slacked off on blogging.  Not because I've been too busy--because I haven't.  I've been gone because the thought of having to put forth the effort for anything other than thinking about my future employment has been too much of a hurdle to jump.  It was so unattractive, in fact, that I haven't blogged in a month even though I literally had nothing else to do.  I mean, besides binge watching TV, of course.

That being said, I've made my decision, I start on Monday, and I'm trying not to freak out too much about the details (what will I wear?!).  I'm feeling much better about things and hope to catch up on blogging all of my finished makes soon.

One final note, before I wish you all a happy weekend. (You thought I was done didn't you?  Sorry folks.  Almost there.  I just need some advice.)

I have a skin disorder called psoriasis.  Thankfully, it's generally very mild, and likes to hang out behind my ears along my hairline.  It's never been very noticeable before, and most people (including my best friend) had no idea I had it until I told them.

For those of you familiar with psoriasis, you probably get where I'm going here.  For those of you unfamiliar, here's a brief introduction: scaly red patches of skin that feel like a burn for a couple of days, then get really itchy and flaky.  I'll have an outbreak every couple of months, it will heal up after a few weeks, and then I'll be good to go for a little while.  Then it starts again.

As I said, I have mild psoriasis, and I'm so, so thankful for that.  But, psoriasis responds to stress.  My recent stresses have caused the largest outbreak I've ever had, and I currently have patches all over the right side of my face.  Honestly, taking photos of myself is not something I really want to do at the moment.  Vanity aside, I'm kind of afraid to put makeup on it for fear of irritating it further.

The doctor gave me some vitamin D cream to put on it, and I'm honestly not sure if it's helping or not.  The other option I have at this point is steriods. Which, to be honest, is not something I'm crazy about.  I'm not a big fan of pharmaceuticals if not 100% necessary, and this is the first time I've ever treated it with anything I needed I prescription for.

So, why am I ranting again?

If you or someone you know has psorasis, or maybe you're just a really awesome homeopathic know-it-all, what do you do?  I'd love to know if you have any advice! 

Thanks for listening, guys.  I'll be back with some actual projects soon, promise.


  1. Congrats on picking the job! I find the job hunt crazy stressful - but part of that is that as a teacher, I have to choose which FT/PT jobs I apply for in which area (Part time near home, or FT an hour away? A grade I love, or something outside my comfort zone?) It's so hard to calculate the risks and rewards when you don't have enough info to go on! Do keep us posted on how your choice goes! (Oh, and wear something handmade - It always gives me a good boost of confidence!)

  2. I'll be teaching pre-k, so this is my inner conflict EXACTLY! I went for FT, far away, and outside my comfort zone for the record :) I'm coming back to teaching (which I love) after a hiatus working in a office (which I didn't like), so I'm a bit nervous about that as well to be honest! I'm racking my hand-mades for something good. I mean, really, what kid doesn't love a dress with a fun print?!

  3. I am sorry you are stressing and your psoriasis is flared up! :(
    I do not think you're mad at all. We are all different and some people have the ability to just roll with life's punches; really easily. The rest of us go crazy :)

    Congrats and good luck on the new endeavor! Wishing you all the best.

  4. We're twins! I teach jk/sk, which is 3-5 year olds... My only suggestions is don't wear a skirt that'll prevent you from sitting on the floor! ;) Good luck! My job is 50min away... so my debate for next year is do I try to stay at the school where I have a better chance of being hired, or be a total stranger applying for work more locally where I don't have contacts! Ugh. Kindy is awesome - just remember to have fun, laugh when they draw pictures that accidentally look like dicks (it'll happen!) and enjoy the chaos!

  5. Sending lots of love!!! I hope you have an amazing 1st day tomorrow (I'm going back to Panda tomorrow so we'll be like 1st day twinsies!). Hope the psoriasis heels quickly! <3

  6. You should be blog because it makes you happy, so don't worry about being absent - your blog is NOT a job. We won't fire you if you don't post for a month. I'm glad you've found work and I hope it is whatever is best for you!
    I got lucky genetically and only get psoriasis inside my ears, although, my poor sister has it all over :(

  7. Wonderful news that you have found the best job fit for you! Here's to things settling down for you- welcome back!

  8. Gahhh there was so much build-up I thought you were going to announce that were opening up a shop!! Anyway, I'm glad you figured out which job was right for you and best of luck today! I can't wait to hear all about it. :-) I hope your psoriasis has cleared up a bit - I have eczema (no clue if they're related) and it's been helped a lot by some handmade lotion. Not sure if you want to go that route though... Can't wait to hear about your first day!

  9. Congrats! I'm slightly jealous of you as I've been job searching in Chicago as well... but from Texas. And I'm finding it very difficult, but unsure how much of the problem is me or the distance. I hope your stress goes away and your skin can go back to normal!

  10. Thanks! I did wait until I got here to actually start looking for a job, and I will say that most places were looking for someone to start pretty quickly. If you'd like to chat a bit about the process I went through/take a look at my resume/etc I'd love to help (and love to have another chicago transplant sewer!) ashley AT :)

  11. Wouldn't that be lovely? Alas, that's not in my cards right now :) They're similar in that they affect the top layer of your skin, I think. I'm pretty sure the difference is that eczema responds to a trigger, like weather or fragrance (I get it too lol) and goes away once you stop reacting to that trigger, and psorasis is autoimmune so it comes and goes (or doesn't) as it pleases.

  12. Haha I know! Thanks for the reminder, though. Regardless, when someone doesn't post for a month or two I wonder if everything is going well for them. I feel like we're all family here, so I like to keep you guys posted on my goings on too :)
    Yay for you! Sorry for your sister :(

  13. Yayyyyyyyy! So glad you're going back! Make fun movies and games and stuff :)

  14. Already planning my halloween costume...

  15. Exactly how I'm feeling! I'm sure that you'll make the right decision either way :) Keep us posted!